Paul,

Although I anticipated an easy sale of the imperial tanks to the Japanese Imperial Family it was not to be. Apparently the Japanese have figured out a way that they can make gas tanks smaller than the gas they hold. This is the same principal they use on some of their cars in which four body builders with a combined volume of 90.0 cubic feet, fit into a Honda Civic with a capacity of only 60 cubic feet. I think it is some sort of sonic reduction beam. Sony now makes cassette players smaller than the cassettes they plays.

I have written a letter to the Canadian government explaining the border idling theory. I have recommended to them that if they switch back to the Imperial system not only will the lineups be longer on the American side but our dollar will once again be worth more than theirs. I am eagerly awaiting a response and expect to be crowned the new King of Canada in keeping with the imperial theme.

Gallon can also be spelled.....! Well actually it can't, but it comes from the word galleon, which is really just a energy sucking kayak. So by switching to the metric system we have a smaller boat that is more efficient to paddle.

Liters and gallons are both a measure of volume so if we calculate the volume of our kayak we get the equation L X W X H. In any given length a lower volume boat should be more efficient. If we take a metric length measure and multiply it by the imperial width and heighth we will get a longer boat with a smaller volume. This is a good way to make any boat more efficient without making major design alterations.

All these calculations should be done in our heads after drinking the full gallon of scotch. Drinking a fifth or 750 ml only causes us to believe that a slide rule is really a pentium III computer.

Enjoy your dinner, I think I'll have another scotch!!

Ian