Thanks, Edgar. I haven't laughed that much from a post in a long time. Once I read "spackling compound" I couldn't contain myself. My eyes are still watering.

Now, who's going to volunteer to build the boat to your specs?

: By far the best security is to build a boat so ugly nobody would want to
: steal it. This would include hundreds of extra staple holes, especially on
: the front deck. (be sure and use the big electrical staples or drywall
: screws). The gaps in the wood (make sure there are lots of them and they
: are large) should be filled with wood filler or spackling compound but if
: using wood filler try extra hard not to match the colors. DO NOT fill the
: large staple holes, let the resin soak in so the cloth goes dry over them,
: it won't affect the structural integrity and will look terrible.

: The boat should be built from scraps left over from other projects (no piece
: should be over 3' in length and again try extra hard not to match colors).
: You could probably collect enough leftover scraps of wood for free from
: other boatbuilders. Before epoxying sand the hull with either 40 or 60
: grit sandpaper so you get big swirly marks.

: Some other tips: Rub your hands on the boat so the oil from your hands gets
: all over it. When vacuming it off make sure to rub the hose tip on the
: wood real hard, it leaves really ugly marks when the epoxy is applied.
: When epoxying make sure to leave lots of small air bubbles (cool the room
: to 50 degrees and just before applying the epoxy heat the room up to 80,
: this will create enough gassing off to create great air bubbles). For the
: finishing touch, make sure you have lots of amine blush left on the hull
: when you varnish so the varnish cracks and peels.

: Some design considerations could be: Hatches should be off center and fractal
: shaped with tons of extra bungie tiedowns. In fact the rear deck should be
: almost hidden by all the bungie. The cockpit should be made from a
: mountain bike tire covered with cloth and epoxy. As you proceed you will
: come up with some ugly ideas of your own... experiment...have fun.

: Basically just take all the advice you have read on this board and ignore it.