: Judging from your superior achievement, I believe that if you have not
: already won a long time ago, expect your award soon, but not now or
: recently.

Paul, although I appreciate your acknowledgement of the magnitude of this work, in the interest of academic integrity I'm afraid I must disclose that I am not the original author.

This was originally published at another BBS by the highly respected poster, "Bloony". You may be familiar with his work which established a clear link between long term exposure to volatile organic compounds and drool production.

Thanks anyway,
Jim