A news report scheduled to be released on April First confirms some of my personal research.

In those areas near me where aluminum canoes are widely used, it has been found that the frequent banging of a canoe paddle on the floor or gunwale of these boats is sufficient to scare off large marine predators.

It is commonly believed that the "booming" noise made by the metal hull also drives away game fish which sharks might be attracted to.

Worries that blood from knuckles scraped on the rough gunwales might serve as an attractant have been proven to be unfounded.

To date there have been no verified fatalities from shark attacks in any lakes or streams of Illinois, Minnesota or Wisconsin. For that matter, there have been no verified shark attacks.

Despite these studies fishermen are still unable to account for the loss of numerous cans of beer that have left dangling in the cool waters. At the end of the day many of these cans will be gone.

Sharks are seen daily in Chicago, where they are sometimes hand fed by divers. Tickets to view the feedings are available at the Shedd Aquarium, by the way.

PGJ