Back when I was young and immature we used to go over to the gravel pit for a bit of early spring fishing. The carp would be up in the shallows so we would slide up behind them and slam the aluminum canoe just about as hard as we could. It would scare the carp so bad they would jet right up on shore and flop around. It was a good laugh then but now it sounds like they are taking their long delayed anger out on just about any round aluminum object.

: A news report scheduled to be released on April First confirms some of my
: personal research.

: In those areas near me where aluminum canoes are widely used, it has been
: found that the frequent banging of a canoe paddle on the floor or gunwale
: of these boats is sufficient to scare off large marine predators.

: It is commonly believed that the "booming" noise made by the metal
: hull also drives away game fish which sharks might be attracted to.

: Worries that blood from knuckles scraped on the rough gunwales might serve as
: an attractant have been proven to be unfounded.

: To date there have been no verified fatalities from shark attacks in any
: lakes or streams of Illinois, Minnesota or Wisconsin. For that matter,
: there have been no verified shark attacks.

: Despite these studies fishermen are still unable to account for the loss of
: numerous cans of beer that have left dangling in the cool waters. At the
: end of the day many of these cans will be gone.

: Sharks are seen daily in Chicago, where they are sometimes hand fed by
: divers. Tickets to view the feedings are available at the Shedd Aquarium,
: by the way.

: PGJ