You might be a kayaker or a kayak builder if....
1. you eat extra toast every morning trying to empty the butter tub sooner to use for epoxy mixing.
2. your old vaccuums are torn apart with the possiblity of using the copper winding as stitching material.
3. the word "stripper" no longer brings up visions of young scantilly clad women.
4. extra 2 x 4s are squirrelled away to become future paddles.
5. you use words with a 10:1 consonant to vowel ratio.
6. guys in long neoprene suits with hoods no longer drop you to the ground rolling with laughter.
7. you find yourself spending late night Internet sessions discussing the pros and cons of different wood glues and epoxy resins.
8. you spend Friday evening in heavy discussion with Marge at the Fabric World discussing the strengths of various waterproofable fabrics.
9. the word folder no longer applies to manilla colored paper items or computer icons.
10. you consider performing strange gymnastic type maneuvers using your wife's clothesline.
11. your name appears on a save the rainforest hit list.
12. your car has a $30 radio but there is $500 of fancy black hardware attached to the roof.
13. the term "rolling" no longer involves the use of papers.
14. your wife thinks your therapist's name is Nick Schade because you are always telling here that you get good advice because of him.
15. you need a therapist because your wife says you spend way too much time in that stupid garage/shop.
16. while your wife contemplates new furniture for the house you visualize how well a 2' wide x 18' long table would look.
17. your kids have sprayskirts and tuiliks before they have cub scout and brownie uniforms.
18. the word plane launches you into glassied eyed discussion of angles, sharpening much to the dismay of the rest of the dinner party.
19. fillet no longer applies to the fish you've caught.
20. you snicker uncontrollably every time you see the words "dookie schmutz".
21. you have an extreme fascination about the consistency of store bought peanut butter.
22. you are driven from the medical supply store with the admonishment of not to come back because the local doctor's are having trouble keeping latex gloves, tongue depressers and syringes in stock.
23. the word "rollers" can mean tools or wave type.
24. you look as if you parachuted into a forest of briar bushes and shortly thereafter you announce that you have finished "stitching the panels".
25. you have fixed anything on your vehicle with epoxy.
26. when you speak of fast hardener and slow hardener the crowd at the water cooler disperses quietly and quickly.
27. you sew and your wife doesn't.
28. you have clothing that is not allowed in the house.
29. you know how to pronounce the words "Guillemont" and "Comorant".
30. the words bright or proud no longer apply to your kids.
31. you have never been in the Navy or aboard ship/sub yet you are constantly obsessed with the securing of hatches.
32. you have long conversations with other men you have most likely not met over the Internet and you don't consider it odd.
33. your Internet bookmarks read like...Steve's pages, Shawn's pages, Building the Coho, My first stripper, Buiding a GP from a pile of wood chips etc.
34. when you think of rubbing oil on something...it is a long wooden toothpick with flared ends.
35. your most prized tool is a 6' stick with a syringe duct taped to the end of it.
36. you know what a hoop house is.
37. you think that all finished fiberglass tape projects have a big hardened wad of stringy mess at the far end.
38. the word ounces no longer applies only to your coffee choice.
39. you stare harder and longer down the length of a few pieces of plywood held together with copper wires than you do at females at the beach.
40. if you refer to your table saw on a first name basis.
41. after you build your first model in 20 some years....you run off to fill up the tub to see how it floats.

--sorry couldn't resist the temptation to add to the madness