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Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
By:Bill Hamm
Date: 12/16/2010, 12:43 am
In Response To: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop (Rob Macks / Laughing Loon CC&K)

: :I also wear a shop apron, but must admit I have a horrible habbit
: :of laying stuff down. The other night Amy and myself both looked
: :for five to ten minutes for a plane that I was using and it
: :turned out to be right there on top of the workpiece. To my
: :tired eyes it blended in with the clamps next to it.

: :Best regards,

: :Hi Malcolm,

: :Well you're certainly not alone in that regard, putting stuff down
: and forgetting where. I was hunting all around the shop for my
: razor knife the other day, looked :everywhere then noticed a
: strange bump in one of the new OSB walls, some idiot put the new
: wall section on top of the razor knife which caused the odd bump
: . :Luckily the walls are all installed with drywall screws, so
: no real harm done.

: :Bill H.

: Why gentlemen, you are not at all to blame! Are you not familiar
: with;

: Evil Spirits and the Barley Corn Rule

: England's Saint Bede, (673-735) was one of the first scholars to
: systematically collect all that was known on subjects ranging
: from grammar to physics. Although Bede spent his entire life in
: study and contemplation at the monastery at Jarrow, recently
: fragments of a manuscript attributed to Bede have surfaced that
: indicate the cleric was a part time woodworker. The remnant is
: titled, " The Presence of Evil Spirits in the Art and
: Mystery of Woodworking."

: Bede's text begins with the listing of events that happened in his
: woodworking shop that could not be explained by any "
: natural reason." For example, he cannot understand why,
: after measuring a piece of wood twice, the board was too short
: when cut. He also discusses the disappearance of small objects
: on his bench. "One is using a tool, it is put down, one
: looks away and it has disappeared." Of course Bede did not
: know about the normal physiological blind spot, but even this
: scientific reason does not explain his persistent frustration.
: Bede becomes so angry at yet another "spontaneous
: disappearance," that he hurls a hammer at his bench where
: he suspects there is an evil spirit. As a result of his action,
: he records more evidence of "demons." The hammer
: misses the bench and slides under a cabinet. In frustration he
: formulates his well-know Barley Corn Rule - if an object falls,
: it will always land one barley corn (about one third of an inch)
: beyond reach. He experiments with other objects by dropping or
: throwing them to various parts of the room. The results bolster
: his belief that woodshops afford an "attractive and secure
: home for the forces of darkness."

: Bede also speculated that the evil spirits exist in the wood
: itself. As an example, he describes the experience of a
: woodcarver who had carefully chosen a billet of wood for the
: statue of a saint. All went well with the carving until the
: final cut was made on the face. The cut revealed a knot that
: ruined the work. This led Bede to wonder why the last tap on a
: chisel often causes a nearly finished board to split and how a
: dent appears without apparent cause on a well-planed plank. Why
: does a choice peice of wood warp? Why does the bow on a lathe
: break when the fishing cut is almost completed?

: Bede found evidence of evil spirits at all phases of a woodworking
: project, which led him to ponder: Why do hairs from brushes
: appear in dried varnish? Why do crude dividers slip, wooden pegs
: break just below the surface, and why does a gimlet slip and
: scratch a new alter table?

: What if Bede were living today? A longer catalog of strange and
: frustrating events would add to his list and support his theory.
: As an example, consider the shop vacuum. Is there anything more
: worthy of the designation "instrument of the devil"?
: The noise threatens the hearing, the hose is a snake that coils,
: kinks and clogs. The electrical cord delights in catching under
: the casters. And when being emptied, the contents spill on the
: floor with such ease that there must be an evil spirit directing
: it. Further, cordless tool fail at the wrong moment, brads and
: finishing nails sprout metallic whiskers on their points.
: Straight grain boards suddenly bind the saw and leave a burned
: spot on the edge that is to show. Glue secretly squeezes out of
: joints, leaving areas impervious to finish. A design problem
: that calls for a few minutes uses an hour.

: I think Bede was right, or at least he offered an explanation that
: was based on events that we all have observed in our own shop.
: So the next time you suspect an evil spirit in your shop, hurl a
: hammer at any spot in the room, and see for yourself that demons
: continue to follow the Barley Corn Rule set down by the
: venerable Bede 1200 years age.

: Saint Bede is buried at Durham Cathedral in England. If you measure
: the stone that bears his name, you will find it exactly two
: barley corns out of square.

: -Wilbur W. Sauer, Paxton,IL

: EDITOR'S NOTE: The author extends his apologies to St. Bede for
: this playful speculation about the saint's life in the 8th
: century.

: I BELIEVE EVERY WORD!

: Rob

: I keep a copy posted in my shop. Whenever my wife complains about
: my swearing I point to it.

Btw, good thread Rob :)

Bill H.

Messages In This Thread

Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Rob Macks / Laughing Loon CC&K -- 12/15/2010, 1:46 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop *PIC*
Tom Yost -- 12/21/2010, 10:33 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
dhwdaniels -- 12/21/2010, 4:29 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/21/2010, 1:43 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Alex Ferguson -- 12/18/2010, 10:14 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/19/2010, 12:20 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Etienne Muller -- 12/19/2010, 5:58 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/19/2010, 7:08 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Robert N Pruden -- 12/20/2010, 9:55 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/21/2010, 1:40 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
ancient kayaker -- 12/23/2010, 9:42 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/24/2010, 12:14 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
dhwdaniels -- 12/19/2010, 10:30 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/20/2010, 12:18 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Roy Martin (fadedred) -- 12/19/2010, 10:16 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Roy Martin (fadedred) -- 12/19/2010, 10:18 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/19/2010, 1:55 pm
An apt excuse, Rob but...
Robert N Pruden -- 12/17/2010, 1:31 pm
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Etienne Muller -- 12/18/2010, 8:42 am
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Bill Hamm -- 12/18/2010, 8:48 am
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
dhwdaniels -- 12/18/2010, 12:21 pm
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Bill Hamm -- 12/19/2010, 12:17 am
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Bill Hamm -- 12/17/2010, 3:56 pm
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Robert N Pruden -- 12/17/2010, 4:12 pm
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Bill Hamm -- 12/17/2010, 5:15 pm
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Glen Smith -- 12/17/2010, 4:19 pm
Re: An apt excuse, Rob but...
Robert N Pruden -- 12/17/2010, 4:36 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
ancient kayaker -- 12/16/2010, 4:40 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/16/2010, 5:42 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
dhwdaniels -- 12/16/2010, 5:24 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/16/2010, 12:43 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Scott Fitzgerrell -- 12/15/2010, 8:58 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Roy Martin (fadedred) -- 12/15/2010, 6:29 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Dave Gentry -- 12/15/2010, 3:15 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Alex Ferguson -- 12/23/2010, 3:19 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/23/2010, 3:42 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/16/2010, 12:26 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop *PIC*
Dan Caouette (CSFW) -- 12/15/2010, 7:11 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
dhwdaniels -- 12/16/2010, 5:18 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Malcolm Schweizer -- 12/15/2010, 4:25 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/16/2010, 12:28 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Mike Savage -- 12/16/2010, 6:50 am
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Mike Savage -- 12/15/2010, 2:03 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Etienne Muller -- 12/15/2010, 4:23 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Malcolm Schweizer -- 12/15/2010, 4:21 pm
Re: Shop: Evil Spirits in the Shop
Bill Hamm -- 12/15/2010, 1:55 pm