: Lawyer: Mr Pruden, please refer to paragraph 2 on the affidavit
: filed by your new ex. She is claiming that you first attempted
: to nuke some 3x1 pieces of plywood in her kitchen microwave
: after which her reheated noodle soup tasted like wood flour, and
: then, for some strange reason, later on, her reheated pizza
: tasted like hot duct tape. Now Mr Pruden, were you aware that
: her microwave was only 18 inches wide on the day you tried to
: heat bend that wood? She is claiming irreconcilable differences
: during this divorce proceeding and the cost to replace her
: microwave.

Lawyer for the defence: we submit that worse tastes have come out of that microwave than wood flour without complaint from the defendant and that the duct tape was used to repair a plate broken by the plaintiff. We acknowledge irreconcilable differences but submit that these are universally recognized as normal between a person of the female persuation and a person infected with any form of kayaking or boat-building disease of which my client has both, and further that the aforesaid conditions were known and acknowledged by the plaintiff at the time of the marriage.
ref; ancient kayaker vs ancient kayaker, schade vs schade, hamm vs hamm, etc.