Bill sorry to hear about your suffering and anguish. Sooner or later, we will all lose strength and ability, such is age. As an 80 year old, whitewater buddy says, "Getting old ain't for sissies!"

So, your choice is to give up, or adapt.

I was broadsided by a car, while riding a motorcycle, when I was seventeen. I spent two years on crutches and ended up with a leg 4" shorter. Kept me out of Vietnam. I've had to deal with it since. Back problems for years. I do most of my work from an adjustable height stool on castors.

A month ago I went over the handle bars of my bike on a downhill, scarred my face up real good and still hurt like hell. Dumb ass, I didn't have my helmut on, I could have been like Christopher Reeves. Lucky? Unlucky? No choice but to deal with it. So I know the agony of dealing with pain, and wanting to get back to life as usual.

My wife and Et's wife, sound like sisters. My wife has been through years of heath issues totally off the radar of regular medicine and she found she had to educate herself and find her own path. She found layer upon layer of chemicals and toxins in common use were making her sick. Real clean food, clean water, and clean air. Too bad we don't have those simple needs for life. Most people don't give it a thought until they are in agony as you are. If you're interested in my wife's story and ideas see her web page @ http://healthbrochures.info

We grow most of our own food so it's chemical free and we use organic everything.

Unfortunately, we can't recover and heal like we did when we were young. I've had to learn to accept this. I fear the day I can no longer use my hands and I forget how to do things.

Start figuring out the little steps to getting better.

All the best,
Rob