I made the annual new years trip a little early this year. Unfortunately I am suffering from a neurological disease and the weather was good so I decided to get the trip in when I could and while I still can. It started with the long pull through the snow to the receding lake shore.

It was in the mid 30's so it was a pleasant day and a little overly warm in the dry suits. Rounding Buffalo Point we could see bison and there was a shelf 6-8 inches deep that went out into the water maybe .5 miles. This is the lowest the lake has been in my lifetime and pretty much in recorded history.

Heidi took my favorite paddle again, a week before Christmas so I couldn't tell her I bought one for her.



The lake cast it's normal spell of moods as we made it to the enchanted shore. Our goal was to get to mother-in-laws but there are always several obstacles in the way. As we approached the shore we were met by the Great Salt Lake monster. He is really a pretty mellow monster. If you just scratch his horns he will give you no trouble. If you don't scratch his horns he will gently pierce the bottom of your boat and let you quietly sink to the bottom. The only time he makes a commotion is with plastic boats. They get stuck on his horns so he has to thrash his head to get them off.


After a long walk from the lake to what at one time was the shoreline we enjoyed lunch at the tip of the elephant trunk. Heidi picked out climbing routes and we warmed in a sunny alcove out of the wind. A cold front was moving in and the temps were dropping.

The next obstacle is getting past the dragon. The secret here is Oreo's and milk. You need to eat with him, if you give him 2 Oreo for every one you eat you will be fine.

The next obstacle is mother of mother-in-law. She is never friendly but she can't move very fast so you don't have to worry about her.

Finally we arrived at the feet of mother-in-law. The goal is to climb into her jowls and back out again and live. Now you may ask what is the secret to making mother-in-law happy. I can tell you the answer of how to make the monster and the dragon happy, but I can not answer this question. To find that answer you need to first explore the deepest cave, trek the most dense jungle, paddle the farthermost sea, climb the highest mountain and eventually in the middle of the most forbidding desert you will find a wise man. Present the wise man with a gift and ask him the question "How can you make a mother-in-law happy". He will stare directly into your eyes for some time and read your soul. If he finds you worthy he will gaze at something in the far distance and answer with a hushed voice "There is not a way to make a mother-in-law happy". So you just have to go for it and hope you live.


Heidi made it and lived. We then returned on our journey home.




I was very happy with the trip. I managed a 16 mile trip and had enough energy although recovery has been a little slow. I did well except for eyes which at this point is my biggest challenge. I am still trying to work through the balance of not giving in and taking reasonable risk. Paddling alone is probably out except on small sheltered lakes. Everyone enjoy your Christmas holidays and do your best to make your mother-in-law happy. If you succeed you can take pride in having achieved something no other man has achieved. If you want to see the entire slide show it is posted here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXOfIGr1BBk